The Verdict: Not eligible
The remote work visa is only for income from outside the UAE, so it cannot cover work for UAE employers or clients. For that you need a local work permit or a freelance permit.
The remote work visa (Cabinet Resolution 65 of 2022, Articles 49 and 50) lasts one year and is renewable. It does not need a UAE sponsor, you can sponsor your family for the same period, and it is available in every emirate. It does not let you work for UAE employers or clients, it lapses if you spend more than six months in a row outside the country, and it never leads to citizenship. Working in the UAE without a permit from the Ministry of Human Resources and Emiratisation is illegal.
What else might work: a freelance permit from the ministry, or a free zone freelance licence, lets you take UAE clients and comes with residence. If you have a bachelor's degree or specialised diploma and earn AED 360,000 a year from self-employment, the five-year green visa is open to you. Our Skilled Migration quiz for the UAE covers both.